On the road to driving godness.

The more observant of you will observe with all your powers of observingness (that is a word) that I am still not driving.

This, I have decided, is not my fault.
Nor is it the fault of my uncle, who, over the year that I've been driving nearly, has been a patient, albeit brave, teacher.

It is the fault of the hazard perception test.

It doesn't actually specify what a hazard actually is.

And if for example a caring member of the British community felt that four hooded teenagers doing a crack deal at the side of the road is worth about 5 million clicks that he feels is not only a hazard to the lives of the yobs involved but all those around them.

You never know. One might suddenly burst into a crack fueled rage and decide he is infact invincible and the bonnet of my car is a good thing to test this newfound power against. I'd count that as a hazard.

Or the fact that the trees your driving past could be the home to a wide assortment of vampires/ninjas/lost old people who could, at any moment, jump down and assault your vehicle with fangs, discs and worthers original.
I'd count that as a hazard too!

What if the sheep, innocently passing in front of your car waved on by a farmer who really does nothing for the stereotype) had rabies? You could be in risk of catching a disease that is potentially fatal if the crazed sheep somehow broke into your car and attacked you.

Have you ever seen a sheep run? You wouldn't be able to get away. It'd keep coming and coming and coming. And then you'd have rabies.
I'd say that's a hazard. Rabies, in the past, has been considered to be quite hazardous.
 
  All this is apparently incorrect in the world where a car turning out 5 miles ahead of you is the dawning of the next Apocalypse. 

 Its just that I like to plan ahead for these things.

  All you people who are laughing and don't will one day fall victim of an invincible teenager, a fully armed old person or that you didn't quite lock your doors quick enough to stop that crazy ball of wool from infecting you with rabies.

You were drawn in by their cute propaganda of Sean the sheep and Timmy time. You might even be old enough to have been influenced by menace-to-the-street Larry the Lamb. They are coming. The sheep will rule. LONG LIVE KING COTTON



 ...sorry I don't know what quite happened there. However my sheep bite is burning....

Adam


BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... wait, what?

Btw who will be the 2000th viewer? baa.

Shortest ever blog.

To get the ol' ball rolling I thought I'd follow up on a previous post and happily announce the release of the app "core" onto the app store (God I should be paid for this!) Rather addictive I must say! Well worth the monies it costs to pur-chase. On the 'tunes market place. Here's the link! Happy "Coring" (I am copyrighting that word!) http://smartcode.at/apps/#core

Onto more recent business. As anybody who was in a 2 mile radius of me from about 2 months ago will know it was my birthday on Friday. They will also know how excited I have been and have also had an overwhelming urge to punch me in the face... (note to self: Are these two phenomenon linked?!?)

I FINALLY GOT MY CUDDLY TALKING CHEWBACCA! Get in there! I mean even if he does make slightly orgasmic sounding noises when you squeeze him... Other presents include; A new coat, a fender top (Miss Johnstone), an angry birds pig (pretty awesome I must say Miss Eve), a Hollister Hoodie and photo collage (From Em (L))>

... and a pan...

I was overwhelmed by text messages. The blasted things pretty much killed my phone for most of the day so thanks for that guys ;D. I think I managed to reply to them all but if I didn't nothing personal it probably got lost in the depths of my now massive inbox... The thing is now bigger than some girl singing about her average day needing bowls...

Whilst on the subject of that awful song I'm going to jump on the proverbial bandwagon and express my annoyance of it. Is anybody else sitting there shouting at the screen for her to CHOOSE A FUCKING SEAT?!? If you watch the video backwards its about a girl who comes out of a party and becomes increasingly unpopular... SHE HAS NO SOUL. Seriously I think she's actually an animated corpse on some sick joke on the music industry...

She didn't actually write the song. Arkmusic.com or whoever she's with actually wrote the song... so no more jokes from me...

... though she probably has problems on planes...

I scored a goal in Lacrosse today... just saying.

I have decided to try and become a journalist. I don't know what you may all think of this dear readers. It is a job that is likely to keep me more on my toes than a midget at a urinal.

THAT IS ALL,

Adam.

To the woman behind me on my driving lesson the other day;

Keep honking... I'm reloading.