...Right well now that's got your attention I'll begin shall I?
"In da club" by 50 cent has just blinked off on my Spotify which shows that I really do think I am more G than I actually am. I really need to accept that I'm a middle class, slightly camp, white guy. The american gangster underworld would probably bend me over... (steady now) print welcome on my back and use me as a doormat.
I will try and not make this blog post yet another sad sob story about how I'm really not "down with the kids" or "street" or will ever be referred to as "brother" after what is dubbed a "bro hug".
I suppose that is fine... Tea?
My main reason to come to you today dear reader is to ask you has Sex become mainstream?
Reader: *scratches imaginary beard* interesting theory Mr Legg, please continue. However isn't this a bit of a deep topic to follow a rant about being so white it hurts?
Me: Probably... SEX
Got your attention again.
Anyway I've just seen Taio Cruz's new track on the Graham Norton show. (Gained gangster points for Taio Cruz... and lost them all with the Graham Norton show.)
It seems that a lot of songs are geared around sex nowadays...
Reader: Thanks Captain fucking Obvious.
Quiet fool... anyway...where was I again?
Oh yes there. Thank you.
It seems that almost any artist can make it into the top 20 nowadays as long as he or she is making so much innuendo it would make a Carry On star take a vow of chastity.
For a lot of them it's like reading an erotic novel with a bass line.
The music behind them isn't even that interesting either! It's like the composer was doing in their back garden at the time and decided that their Lawnmower really did throw down some funky rhythms.
Some of the lyrics they come out with as well for example:
"Pretend that I'm a dinner, she gon' me my salt shaker" - Taio Cruz - Troublemaker
What does that even mean? It's like come on. Can anybody put their hands up and genuinely tell me what the hell he is talking about here? Other than some really weird role play where she dresses up like a salt shaker? Whatever floats your boat Taio.
"'Cause something comes over me" - Nicole Scherzinger - Wet
Despite the sexual connotations that hold the song together. The annoyingly catchy song from Nicole Scherzinger does have some interesting lyrics in it. Take this one for example. I've decided for the purposes of attempting to keep this all as decent as possible I'd better not say what I thought.
"I love it when it gets so wet starts tricklin' down" - Same song.
The whole point in the song is the double entendre that comes out of the connotations regarding the word "wet" and what it symbolises with a female singer. With this is mind this lyric genuinely physically repulses me.
That was just a selection of some lyrics I found while casually surfing the web for examples to support my argument. Any that might give me a chuckle please feel free to send in. :)
Anyway I hope none of you were eating during this blog. If you were I sincerely apologuise.
Adam xx
SEX ... one day I will explain this to you. Not sex itself. I'll leave that to the extremely awkward talk that my dad gave me when I was young and actually managed to bore me off ever asking again.
This should be an interesting first blog for my two lecturers who are now reading these... oh well I hope they see the funny side.
