Two thousand rappers.

Right well I should be hopefully reaching my 2000th viewer this time round. When you are reading this just check down at the bottom where the reader count thingy is. If you're number 2000; let me know! It would be nice and not creepy whatsoever.

Presupposing that more than 12 people actually read this anyway.

 I hope so. I get more viewers in the holiday time. Seeing as it's vaguely around holiday time now hopefully people will be very bored, see that I've written a blog and read something other than increasingly bitchy statuses on facebook.

 I mean I like to think that these blogs are vaguely interesting/absolutely hilarious but obviously it could be the funniest blog in the world yet would probably be pretty pointless if nobody read it.

 Anybody listening in to me writing one of these will probably hear sniggers and snorts as I laugh at my own jokes.

 If that isn't sad enough I do occasionally get bored and re-read these. Just to remind me of how funny I actually am.

 Brb. Going to get my new hat.

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 Back :D Exciting times!

Anyways moving on... Guns don't kill people... rappers do.
(completely related I know; I'm listening to it now.)

It's quite funny because we have these rappers that are professional etc. though I think I've found the winning answer for these.

It's simple maths really.

You take:

A hard life in the ghetto + money + "pussy" (though I'm not sure what cats actually have to do with it)
Gold chains, false teeth and several bullet wounds are optional but not required.

So I'm decided to move to a council estate, win the lottery... and buy a cat.
See you in the charts motherfuckers! (It's also important that I swear all the time too. Helps the badboy image.)

I need to drop all usage of spelling and grammar as this is perceived as "cool" and "with it" (or maybe "kwl" and "wit it yo brap, g, re-fucking-load {got my swearing in there})

 Or maybe not...
Maybe I could be Andy Murray and rap about having fans etc.
Or I could be the worlds first grammatically correct rap-person with "sweet rhymes" such as the number 1 hit "i before e except after c".

 Or maybe not that either.
The truth is that I will never make it as a rapper. 
Nor do I really plan to.
Too many women. Too many guns and I don't plan on taking Emily to the candy shop. 

I guess the rap scene just isn't ready for me yet.
However in the words of the artist known as "Phil"
"yes, well, legibility and correct punctuation might not be "street"... but that's how I roll, motherfucker."

MC Adam Legg.

"Alright stop... collaborate and listen" - Miss Davies.