Adam's adventures in Pottermore.

Recently my feed on Facebook has been overflowing with comments about Pottermore. 

Pottermore is effectively JK Rowling's way of making sure that we are all definitely throwing as many hatchets as we can at the grave of one of the worlds most successful book series. 

This will be my step by step analysis of the website on my first go at it... right let's sign up!

"First we need to check if you are magical." I don't remember in Harry Potter a bit where someone is rejected because of their age, where they live or what language they speak. Evidently there are darker sides to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and general prejudice that I never knew before.  

 Yes I am over 18. No I don't want any spam from you. Right when do I start killing muggles?

Oh I can't go killing muggles? I have to give a password? So this wand that I bought from that crazy man behind the moving wall is pretty useless at the moment then...

Well apparently my password is weak. Hack me if you like. I'm sure I'll be devastated. 

Oh good. I can create a password. Tell them what my name is. I've read all the books and seen the films. And now they tell me I'm bloody magical. Great. Nice one. Bloody muggle technology. 

Been put on a list. Just above Harry Potter. From here it looks like Voldemort's hit list. 

Right now to choose a username.

ChestnutCloak10991, SunNettle25579, AshFloo19832 nor ScarletWave23701 really appealed to me and I was annoyed that I couldn't make up my own username as I had already thought up a couple of good ones:

- Seveninchesnothingspecial101

- Mywandisbiggerthanyourwand202

- ImthereasontheycallherMoaningMyrtle303

They were all pretty valid ones in my opinion. In the end I went for the only one that didn't make me feel like a total idiot. So SnitchWombat12746 it was then. Catchy as. 

So I've done all that. Now for the magical part. Reading the computer generated words to prove your a "real person". I've typed them in. So far so good then!

Tense moment when I'm waiting for my validation email... I can imagine the countdown clock in my head.

Shit. I've forgotten my password. Oh well. That'll teach me to have some crude reference anyway... 

Email in. Over the moon. 

My link is valid for 7 days. I think I'd have to have some serious issues not to have clicked the link in seven days after reading the message. 

Right password.... password, password, password... 

*sigh* forgotten password time. Magical reading of the letters. Depressing. 

Got my password. Clicked "keep me signed in". Not having that problem again. 

Right. Chapter 1, here we go. 

I don't have the books to hand at the moment. Sorry Pottermore I guess this experience won't be as rewarding...

 Right so I'm reading through the chapters. What I'm reminded of is the books you were read as a kid with your mum/dad/guardian pointing out things to you and explaining what they mean. Similar concept. 

 Couple of chapters in and I'm slowly growing to like the concept. After wandering round some of the scenes in the book and collecting thing like some crazed kleptomaniac, I have finally arrived to the part with the letters. 

 The parts written by JK Rowling are fascinating. Although I started this with a really cynical outlook of what was to follow I have genuinely grown to be quite fond of this website.

 For now though I am off to bed! Goodnight wizards and witches everywhere!

Adam.

The only guy in the cinema to laugh at "7 inches, nothing special."

Pluto on tour.

 After a longer than expected break I'm back... tell a friend.

(guess who back, guess who back guess, who back.... denene dundehdundehdundehdun denene dun)

I haven't quite created a monster and I still think people want to see me rather than the alter ego I don't have.


 Anyway I thought today would be a good day to restart the old blog and get back to where we were dear readers. I know we've been through a phase of not really speaking but I do like what we had. You, me, the blog... that sort of thing.

 So I thought I'd inject some enthusiasm back into the relationship by talking about my trip to London.

 A 5.30am start and a shower led me to making one of the hard decisions of the day. What exactly was I going to wear?

 I'd like to say that I was really organised and had everything ready...I'd like to say that.

 I'd also like to say that I'm exactly the sort of guy you'd like to have at your back in a fight. We all know that would be a lie.

 I don't lie to you, dear audience, so I will say that I had bugger all idea of what I was going to wear.

 A reasonably creased shirt, tie and, "I'm pretty sure they're clean" socks later and I looked ready to rock and roll.

 (I'd like to mention that I was wearing underwear and trousers. Just in case you were worried at any point).

 Sleeping on the train was nice. It was a virgin train so standard class is pretty similar to first class in most trains.

 The journey (thankfully) was absent of screaming children, people playing loud music or "Lads on tour" which meant that I slept for a large proportion of the journey there.

 Upon arrival at London we boldly ventured down some escalators in need of a slide option, to the tube.

 It was failing to manage to get onto it that was my first indicator that I was actually too nice for London and while my friends and colleagues were sped away I was left to wait for the next one.

 The tube, although an effective way of traversing the depths of the capital, proved to be jammed with people of all walks of life. Veteran tubers were  obvious by the fact that they didn't seem to need to hold on to the rail and, while I stumbled all over the carriage, they seemed to stay completely still the whole time.

 A superpower if I ever saw one.

 I fell off the tube about two stops later and met up with the group and proceeded to traverse the winding streets of London.

 Crossing the roads in London is kind of like that moment in Dodgeball where he goes; "If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball." As it turns out, this is harder than you think.

 Harder than you think turned out to be 25 tonnes of red bus coming at you from all angles, while cyclists and various motorists competed for your bit of road while you were still standing on it. The pedestrian is not welcome on the roads of London. This point was hammered home when a bus decided it would wait in traffic over a pedestrian crossing. A final kick in the teeth proving the superiority of the bus driver.

 When we eventually made it to the conference in one piece we were actually sat in the same room as Jon Snow... who told us about contracting Hepatitis B on one of his first assignments and not really drinking much since. Still the guy was a bit of a legend and I loved his triple rainbow tie.

 After the conference (which for those who are interested was called "so you want to be a journalist?" and was actually rather good and definitely one to look out for) we headed over to Kings cross area to find somewhere to eat.

 Now, I'd never actually been in a Nando's before. I've had many people tell me that they like Nando's more than my mum does. This is probably true, my mum, to my knowledge, has never been to Nando's and therefore is very impartial to the restaurant.

 Today I thought, you know what, YOLO. So I ventured in with the group and before long it was like I'd been there millions of times.

 When ordering my veggie burger I was asked what kind of spicy I'd like it. I'd been pre-warned about such an occurance by Emily Childs, so the question did not catch me totally off guard. Being the Nando's noob I decided to go for a reasonably mild one and see how I got on.

 I'm ashamed to say it was still pretty spicy for me.

 Back to the till and I was asked that whether I'd like a loyalty card. Knowing that I probably would never set foot in another Nando's again and would likely have lost it before I even got home... I naturally said yes.

 Those of you who have a Nando's loyalty card may have already spotted a bit of a flaw in the logistics of me having one. The clue isn't that I'd never be back, or that I might lose it. No, no dear readers!

 The problem is that the reward that I get for collecting my stamps is free chicken. With my vegetarian meal.

 I was over the moon.

 I decided to opt out of cutlery for the meal, not just because I was bullied for picking the wooden cutlery over the metal cutlery at lunch, but because it encourages you on the menu to use your fingers. I thought when in Nandos...

(...do what the Nandonians do?)

 Anyways that is where I will leave it for tonight!

 I bid thee farewell till our next meeting!

Adam x

I can now safely say I love Nandos more than your mum does.